IM in love again. (Izit TRUE?)

Am I still have the chance to fall in love again? I'm like doesn't keep my promise. nono. I should'nt do this. Must stand till the end. But honestly now Im just fall in love again. Wait... Do I still believe in love? hmm... Maybe yes and maybe no. I myself also don't know. Cause first, Im scared to be in love. Second, Ain't wanna hurt anyone. 3rd Am I ready for love again? Am I qualify? hmm.... I think the GOD or maybe my heart should give me answer. I think staying single is better. However, hope everyting will be ok. =D

Shopping DAY ! <3

Today I went shopping for new year clothes and shoes with Aunty Annie,Jayleen,Mummy and my sister. It was FUN. I finally found my favourite high heel in Queensbay. Yohoo. =D I bought a lot of nice clothes and short. I think is already enough. No more BUYING. Im broke . My sis bought her favourite shirt too. BUT my mum bought nothing. I dont understand why don't she buy anything. hmm... I guess nothing suit her? Kinda tired. Tonight need to practice my piano and need to finish up my science homework. And one more thing, Account homework. SHIT ! HELP ! I need someone to help me with that. I'm DEAD ! =( Anyway here's some photos.

16th January 2010.

Today is a busy day for me. Early morning must go to Miss Woo piano class. Then at 12pm need to go to another pop piano class. Tired. I still have one more lesson in the piano class. Do you think I will be back there? I wish too. But I can't. Now i know that my tears had stopped. NO more droping anymore. NO more. Even though I think of the memory. Now I feel like I starting to let go. This the only way I want. I'm glad this happened. I don't wanna involve in any love life anymore. NOw im happy with my single life. so... You guys should be happy for me. I'm gonna be happy go lucky ! hope soo.... sometimes too stress also can feel sad and angry. Be prepare. LOL. Hmmm.... Hungry la ! Feel like eating now. BYE

Why? Why? Why?

Why when the time I wanted to forget you and U will just appear . Why did you treat me like this? Why you want to know so much bout ME? Why love is so complicated? You know you did hurt me much . But I feel so much better now. But the scar Is still in my heart. It doesn't hurt that much now. I hope IT cure as fast as possible. Actually I really hate you very very much. But when I talk to you I can't make myself hate you. I CAN'T. I feel like I hate myself more than hating you. You make to get in to your world and at last when I'm already in your world you just leave me. I don't know what I should do that time. Cause I have no way to go and I don't know which way to go. I feel so scared and I'm all alone there. No one can help me. All I can do is just help myself. YOU are so CRUEL! That world is scary. I will NEVER get in to anyone world anymore. I'm worry it happen again. I'm really afraid. I really HATE you !

7th January 2010.

Today school kinda FUN. Having FUN with my friends,talking jokes. In the time school start I have to make some decision. That is about relationship. My relationship with my boyfriend. Yesterday he asked me to answer him that do I still love him. I can't answer him. First, I can't lie to him and also I don't wanna hurt him cause he's really good to me. Care for me. But I'm sucks. I don't even care for him. This days I'm really busy with my school works and I had no time to message him. I keep thinking and asking myself"Should I continue with him or should I just let go?" At last my decision came out of my mind. The answer is Let go. I have to end this relationship and Try not to have another relationship . The reason of my decision is Fair for each other. I don't wanna waste his time. I also don't wanna feel sad when I think of him. I just keep don't care bout him. This really make me feel suffer. I want him to concentrate in his study and also I want to concentrate on my study. So I decided to break with him. I know I promise to him before that I won't let go. I'm sorry. Now i had no choice. Hope we are still friends. He requested to be my god brother. And I did agree. I promise to him I will always keep in touch with him and That promise I will keep. I will message him everyday. I'm not the kind of person that don't keep in touch with ex after breaking up. We are still friends and of course we still can go for movies and hang out. I hope he will feel better after a few days or maybe weeks. As long as he's happy I will also be happy. Wish you ALL the BEST here. STUDY hard ! =) and I'm sorry for everything bad that I done to you.

3rd January 2010

This will be the last day of holiday. Tommorrow school gonna re-open and I will be in form 5 tommorrow. My stress and pressure will start tommorrow. and my form 5 journey will end this year December. As you know I'm facing my SPM exam this year. I'm gonna work extra hard this year. Wish to have tuition now. Without tuition make me feel more stress cause I can't do anything without tuition. I'm lazy. Lazy to study. Wish to have one as soon as possible. Although study is important but I will still work hard in my Piano. I'm going to take my grade and teory class starting this month. Music is the most important in my life now. Expecially piano. I wish to have a grand piano in my house. I want a white one. If I think i can get it when I'm old. Cause is really expensive. I'm Just finished packing my school beg. Get ready for school ! Tommorrow will finish school at 2pm. Tired. I hope school end early. I bet tommorrow most of the teacher will start their teaching and lesson. I hope this year I will really concentrate on whatever the teacher teaching although I hate some of them. Love is really frustrating for me now. Very frustrating. I can't love someone deeply now. I feel the fear now. I'm scared to get in love now. No more. I wish to be single this year. I can't comcentrate when I'm having a love problem. But I can't just let go now. I don't wanna hurt anyone and of course I don't hope anyone will hurt me. NO MORE! Not to think bout the past anymore. I hope I can just forget bout it after my school starten. This year will be a new year and new life for me. Everything will be new for me. I wish to have a happy YEAR for this year. Bless me ! =)