30th of December 2009

I thought you are different from others. I thought you will understand me. Now i know you are just the same. I'm so damn useless. Why am I so stupid? Cry for YOU. Im also mad of myself because of you . When I'm crying I think you are having a happy hour with your friends. Talking jokes and everything bout somebody. When I know you are this kind of person I really can't believe myself anymore. I feel so disappointed. Remember what you told me? You said" Now you know how I feel when my ex break with me." This word make me feel dying ! I feel like I had been played by someone I TRUST. They are just taking the revenge from a stupid girl and that girl will definetly ME. After you telling those words You know I'm actually crying hardly in an empty room. I don't even know why I feel like crying. Am I crying for myself or for HIM or for those memory we did. I dont know what I should do or said on that time. My friends are all trying to comfort me BUT im sorry to said Im actually are NOT ok ! Im tryng to show my smiley face to all my friends BUT the truth is IM really sad . Whatever you did I dont even blame you. Sorry can make all changes?? If sorry can stick back my heart I'm sure i dont feel this now and I don't care how a guy broke my heart cause sorry can make changes. BUT now NO ! It can't ! You didn't think bout me before , IM sure. You just think bout yourself. When the time you said you wanna break with me I agree with you not because of myself or what. Is because I don't want you to do your best in your SPM. You told me your mom is pushing you to break with me. FINE . I let you go. I know you had working very hard to do well in SPM and that's the only reason make me agree to do this decision. I just don't wanna ask any question anymore although I had a lot to ask on that time. Now you are happy. But do you ever think how I feel? NO. And I don't mind anymore from now on. Go back to your happy day and don't ever ask me bout how's my life cause my answer will make you upset. Don't ever ! You keep saying "forget bout me". Said it is really easy for you. BUT for me is a really hard job ! I had try it for so many times. Everyday keep telling myself but IT really hard. You don't have to worry anymore. I will just forget bout you in one minute from now on. So plssss Go back to your happy life. Don't come and judge me anymore. I don't want questions . Don't ask anymore !